Green Grass

A lot of good weather and green grass (rare sight!) and everyone! I have pretty things from the picnic: a flower ring! pretty Christmassy red ribbon which I tied onto my hand (from the melted chocolates) and a polaroid picture from my new camera! it makes me feel happy happy. and I saw Christmas books on Mr. Men series in borders! They are so cute. I came home and it rained rained rainy splitter splatter on the windows and I walked through the drizzle under my cardigan to the car and my arm hurting from all the leftover food no one could finish. Today was a pretty day and everything was colorful because we flow with the pimp juice yo.

More spring weather please :)

saturday morning:

I woke up late and it's almost noon and my shoulders ache from all the bag carrying yesterday and I am packing my luggage today trying to feel happy excited not disappointed or sad in people. Before I slept last night I wrote with blue lead on paper and it looked luminous under my reading lamp but swirling on white paper and my bedsheets. gingerly comfort sweetheart softly delicately carefully we swing swing swing laugh smile. hey you come talk now, don't go off too far i will miss you :(

Antiseptic Series of Blur

Tokyo is seeped with antiseptic charm, that's all I have to say. Cleanliness is an obsession, a literal way of saying "We have OCD in this country". Implanted fluorescent whites magnifies this asian metropolitan. In a way, it highlights the efficiency of rush hours in rushed hours; this nation becomes so culturally advanced we see tradition as new rituals. We barely touched the epidermis of the land, and this city shields its secrets well.

september 14th:

"the air is dampened, a turning point between summer and fall, a transition everyone is complaining about."

A week is barely enough time to find out what goes on behind secret corners of Harajuku or Shibuya, but enough to trigger a new found love for this city, although not entirely.

Tokyo is good for the hidden child. Disneyland, despite the long queues the rides pay back with forms of loopiness and parades almost every two hours (we were there for halloween celebration!). Peter Pan asked us where we're from and I told him we flew there;

"You flew on broomsticks?! Are you guys witches? Like... like, Harry Potty?"

He looked stunningly like Zac Efron and had quite an elfish grin.

I confess my love for Alice in Wonderland and all its character just because Alice is not one of the disney princesses and there is so much about that story than just an afternoon daydream -- an ultimate existentialist experience. When Alice goes into wonderland, it becomes her puzzle but it's also her need to find meaning in bread-and-butterflies, purple cheshire cat and a hookah smoking caterpillar. A questioning of identity is so unlike Cinderella or what Belle can do and there's just something of the possibility of the impossible that attracts me so much.

I loved the tea cups! And mad mad spinning around and round.... ... Who are you?

One night we stayed up till 2 in the morning just watching the the buildings light up in subliminal red dots and hoped it wasn't some sort of code red emergency. The shutter was being naughty and everything turned out blur or just dark.

I developed a love/hate relationship with the bullet train because we missed one of them and everyone was dead hungry and thank god I didn't have to eat McDonald's like everyone did but there's something strangely calming about those rapid rides and smoky cabins, the turnaround chairs and acting all benevolent. For a while on those train rides, it felt liberating and responsible, like it was the right thing to do. The scenery are a series of blur because we travel so fast in them whooosh whoosh while our ears were constantly blocked by pressure.

But I also love the morning JKR trains because it reminds me of the KL sentral trains after work but everyone seemed so surprised at it. We played games in the train to see who could stand on two feet the longest without stumbling down on the way to Harajuku and back. I discovered things that reminded me of the place I'm going back to next week, they're so dissimilar they almost seem identical because comparison makes me confused.

I wrote wishes on a wooden board

"I wish for all the happiness and love and health of the world; to the people I know and strangers I have yet to meet. I am thankful for the places I have been and people I have met. I wish for selfless love and dedication in everyone. - 22th september"

For a while I didn't know what I wanted to say or write or even gather my thoughts and oddly enough while I stood there with a marker, it felt like such a memorably cathartic moment because who knows if one day you or you and him or her would come and and read what I wrote and feel blessed? It was like postsecret in real life, and there were ones that made me sad and some hopeful and some self sacrificing but it all made sense then. I wasn't mad or angry and that was a good feeling.

I love the walking the food (not the one where I didn't get my order though) the streets the momentum and one night, I walked one round on our hotel floor and it made me so happy!

The morning we left, we wrote a note to the housekeeping lady (if it was a she) and said: thank you for cleaning up our room! and stuck ribbons onto it. Maybe she thought it was trash and threw it but I suppose we'll never find out.

Hot and Cold

The weather is insane. I am almost insane. I woke up at 6 in the morning fully awake, went back to bed and felt sleepy when I woke at 9 again. Now my bedsheets are changed into Christmas spirit, red and blue and whites (one month to go). There I lay the first time I woke up to sunlight, and Vanessa Carlton sings "we're back, we're back in San Francisco and you tell me I am home" and I hold for breaths, and I fear for lost time just as I always have, lost people lost memories. Maybe I've been silently missing home for two years it becomes a threat, maybe this other life isn't enough to replace the old replica of tropical weather or friends or my room my piano my marble tiles. If I could, I want to have both but I can't be two places at once, and in the end it's about choice.

If next week when I walk out of the terminal building smelling heat and cigarettes, tell me I am home.

Rant Two

Remember rant one? Of course you do, the one where I lash out at every stereotypic label that came to my mind then. So now for rant two because I feel cynical. I suppose it's after watching House I become cynical, and after watching two episodes I get double the cynicism. And I like puns and lame jokes but that has nothing to do with my rant. Okay.

1, Beauty is skin deep. Admit it. Just because you say 'there's more to it than beauty' doesn't make it true. More so if you're a guy. I dare you tell me you're not attracted to the lovely handcrafted apples God bestowed (reference to House btw) upon your girlfriend.

2, Hi flamboyant airheads. If you want to believe that a dSLR makes your blurry camwhore photos look gorgeous, then I guess me calling you flamboyant airheads remains valid. Ohmygosh yes because the telephoto zoom lenses are like, so like, gorgeous you know, like like... that Topshop dress I wore and took a photo with my 0.3 mp camera phone! I hope your flimsy wrists break when you hold your dSLR then.

3, Hehehehe I take self portraits with my dSLR in the mirror! Aren't I pretty?

4, Yes I do have a problem with people who thinks a dSLR makes you superior.

5, Oh hey acclaimed photographer! I totally worship you because of your bokeh and depth of field photos. Because out of focus photos equals master skills and that requires so much effort.

6, 'This is my blog and I can say anything I want.' Why would you say anything everyone else wants to hear? To seek affirmation? Freedom of speech crap. We don't need to hear you saying that every time before you insult that superficial bitch you hate. Swear baby swear! "Fcuk that b*tch she is so fcuking annoying!" French connection that B star tch she is so french connectionally annoying!

7, Oh forgive me, you were just saying what you wanted to. Well then, it gets back to 'This is my blog and I can say anything I want.' It's just like a huge paradox! I love it.

8, I am in love with Edward Cullen! Like the rest of the 5374637 girls (or guys) in the world. Edward Cullen turns me on just as how Voldemort turns Marlie on. I am such a fangirl. I would marry a fictional character. Breaking Twilight is like the best book ever, you know? What do you mean it's not called that?! Obviously I know what book my future husband comes from!

9, I am soooooo fat I hate myself I need to go on a diet I need to make myself hungry and not eat and I weigh 14kg that is so heavy can you believe it? I think maybe I should try this new detox diet hmm and my arms are not supposed to be thin as chopsticks they should be thin as air!

10, I am disappointed with myself! Not even ten good points. Oh well.

On the other hand, I've also started making Christmas cards and being a saint (see the pun reference?) and itsy bitsy stuff for presents. I was in the shower when

I don't know why our verandah has just one chair with no real purpose. But then again, that's not the point is it? Props to you if you know what is!

I think the temperature just dropped a few degrees, hmmmm.

Poladroid

Windows version please! But all the more reasons for me to get a Mac.

Poladroid

0530

I have a problem. I sit and type for 30 minutes and I delete the chunk of words/everything into a blank blank blank for fear people will judge me from what I do or say or write but I'm being a hypocrite anyway. I am still here after half an hour. I am sleepy. I am tired. I cannot think. I think if I stay awake I might do something impulsive and hurt someone. I'm sorry. Hurt me or you and him or her and I don't want that to happen. But somewhere underneath normal logic, I know I don't want to curb to usual semantics and just do something on intuition just because it feels right.

What do you think?

I slept at 0530 today because we partied till dawn came and the club needed to chase us out. Wow. Do you believe it? Party girls at heart.

To be honest, I have been writing aimlessly a lot this week but not here of course, because you don't see anything here. Due to aforementioned problem, I never quite have much to say here then. Existence is irrelevant, do you really want to know what goes on in my life?

Anyway I have more time to read because I have to read about a million books for Lit and English next year. It's going to be so much fun because we are all going to sit in a circle and discuss literature in a prim and proper yet relaxed manner in that incandescent room. Or so we are told.

Do you believe me?

Plain

We found out the texts for English next year and 'The Catcher in The Rye' is one of them, which is also one of my favourite books. I'm excited of the prospect of leaving summer to head back to tropical weather soon, soon and we'll do the things we've planned to do tea parties picnics lunches and dinners and christmas shopping, or is there enough people and enough time? It's scary I said, how the year is ending in (as of now) five weeks, and manic panic I am. I'm looking forward and not looking forward, a new 365 days makes me queasy and gosh. It's weird how people have been asking me am I okay this week which I assure them I totally am and they all say the same thing; are you sad no I'm not I'm okay I think and my nemesis provided further proof saying I didn't even argue back but hey, what could I say?

All my papers ended this week so we're all exhausted and exhilarated, two months before the real deal starts but in the meantime, we allow ourselves for sunshine and games and fun. More to the point, there's been puzzling days and a lot more of awareness or maybe it's just this time of year everything sort of comes together once more, to re-adjourn.

I'm going to brew a cup of strawberry tea and eat Pocky.

Springtime

i. It's been a busy busy busy week. I bruise myself almost everyday from the untidy pile of books all around my room. I'm serious, those books can injure you really bad.

ii. "one, two, three, four tell me that you love me more more"

iii. Good probablities.

iv. I've made the most phone calls this week than I have in my whole life. It's strangely therapeutic on a Thursday night, because we make fun of the awkward silence and I squeal a lot and I can't really whisper. Sigh. I think these phone calls ultimately make me a happier person.

v. A week ago, I had the best conversation about our lives three years ago and how much different everything is right now. It made so sad but so happy. So I'm writing that letter.

vi. I made paper aeroplanes during lunch yesterday and flew them in the garden with Annie.

vii. Chem study session became a Guitar Hero and Wii Fit session. I think my weight brought about certain 'issues'.

viii. The law of physics do apply to the Road Runner.

ix. Leave or stay.

x. Today's weather was springtime weather! I didn't share as much joy as Marlie when we saw five kangaroos and rabbits. The plains look like a savannah btw.

xi. I'm glad I can still think properly. I think. Yes no maybe I feel sad.

Min Pose

Allow me to introduce one of my famous friends:

Who doesn't show her face because she's famous and constantly stalked by paparazzi such as myself. No face and since her name is Min, I call it the Min Pose.

A collection of her pose made famous over time:

The key to success is no face. Or if the face is unavoidable, then at least the eyes. I have learned from the pro. Thank you Min for introducing such a mastery into my life.

But there are moments of weakness!

"Oh yes I am very much in love with this pepper shaker and I am going to add it to my half-boiled egg now!" I miss yumcha sessions :(

Because I'm awesome she HAS to take a photo with me showing her pretty face :) I am so honoured to have such a fantabulous friend!

Other kodak moments,

She shamelessly stole my shades (just as you need to shield the eyes remember?) during the NIGHT and is happily stirring her coffee is a most sophisticated prose and also, Shepperd's Pie! The Great Min loooves her pies. And supposedly, Biology. Goodness! We share such a deep bond, she and I. No wonder we are such great friends.

Eventhough she is going to slaughter me for this, here is a step-by-step procedure of how my beloved friend wakes up,

She is suddenly attacked by an enemy! Protect the hair!

I never knew I had such brutal best friends. I never knew! The truth unveiled!

Ok happy birthday again and it was nice chatting to you about stuff and blahblahblah this is such a rantsy post I don't even know why I'm doing it I don't usually even sound this hyped I think it's because of the stress goodness now I'm talking non stop without fullstops, I miss you Min :( okay I need to head back to more calculations.

1 2 3 4

What I've been doing in between studying:

From a bazaar store :) Pretty pretty. It's standing on top of my Moleskine! And behind it, you can still see my yet to disposed piles of Bio texts.

God. I started getting excited for Christmas out of a sudden (I blame it on the maths) and started making/decorating wooden clips. It was so hard to cut though, because the stripes took me ages and ages because I had to cut them into the right, small piece :( But aren't they cute and Christmassy! Now I can use them to peg Christmas presents. Sometimes I awe at my patience when I should rightfully be doing something more useful, say, getting ready for the maths final on Tuesday? Sigh. But you gotta admit, my efforts were not in vain, it makes me feel cheery just looking at them.

"If there is no love, what then?"
Then I sorta drifted off into a book on Da Vinci. I find his genius mind incredibly scary because geniuses are always scary. For example Annie and Evilyn... Goodness.

Headband from Disneyland! And my white walls. They creep me out with their too-whiteness sometimes.

Then I've been watching late night episodes of House from my box sets, stressing et cetera.

And since my nemesis has been annoyingly posting up his wonderful "Countdown", so to everyone who's taking year end exams/SPM/O's/A's/VCE/IB/whatever else, let's do this exam thing once and for all.

:) okay, goodnight! Teevee time.

Bonjour

Inspired by Karen's Good Morning post :)

And I love Fridays. And cloudy days.

Write some words about how you can't shut me out
How you must find a way to see me one more time

Tell the world about me
The way you won me over in a city you can't remember

Results

US Elections Results 

Angels and Demons

YAY. May 2009. I'm really excited!

postcript: Despite my controversial history with Biology, I absolutely cannot stand it when people try and say "Oh humans evolved from monkeys/apes/chimpanzees" you liar liar pants on fire.

America Votes

US Elections 2008.

Stayin' Alive

1. Do you think you are hot?

No wonder I hardly ever do these tags.

2. upload a favorite picture of yourself.

3. why do u like the picture?
For obvious reasons: I am awesome. My hair looks good, and I love that top & belt plus my vintage "doctor" bag :) Oh look, me being self-absorbed for once!

4. when is the last time you ate pizza?
I don't remember. Unless if Bruschettas are counted as "pizza" - well they look sorta similar anyway.

5. the last song you listen to?
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson. But to be honest, for the past five hours I've also grooved to Banana Pancakes - such a cute song! and Stayin' Alive (hence this blog title) Night Fever, More Than A Woman, How Can You Mend A Broken Heart because Bee Gees are awesome too.

6. what are you doing right now beside this?
Thinking about my paper tomorrow on a public holiday (screw you VCAA), needing to shower soon, the enormous sum of chewing gum I consumed earlier.

7. What name do you prefer besides your name?
Desirée or Deidre. Latin and Gaelic origins.

5 people:
1. Ponyo
2. Noob Dion
3. Devooon
4. o hai AZIAN Marnie
5. Mei Mei

8. who is number 1?
HA. HA. She texted me "Cher I'm in Starbucks now" to which I replied "haha doing what?" THEN "Drinking coffee and NOT doing Bio" ...sigh. She is crazy like me because we met in maths Huiniverse and laugh at other people's low sense of humour. Are we there yet? Sorry, I realise this has a lot of inside jokes. But... Deal with it.

9. number 3 is having a relationship with?
Her lunch. I dunno, because she had the awesomest lunch on friday.

10. say something about number 5.
She laughs at my jokes. Which is not to say I am not a funny person, because I'd like to think I'm a naturally good humored person. And she's shorter than me! (haha sorry Mei!)

11. how about number 4?
HI MOPHEAD. Co-founder of the Nerd-A-Thon. He he he. Also the anti-General group. Karaoke!!!!! :)

12. who is number 2.
She has a nice house, I want to steal her entertainment system.

These tags make me sound all so superficially fickle-minded. Gosh. But, oh well.

Everyone 1 to 5 do it do it do it okay? (Example of me being an airhead, the things I do to embarrass myself and become entertainment)

The Only Fault (Hope)

"If I could bend your pain
Into something good
Make you a prouder man
If I could rough you up
And save you with good luck
And show you hope again

Hold on,
Weren't meant to suffer so very long
Leaving love that's gone has never been a sin
Hang tight,
The only fault you have tonight
Is shutting down so cold till I break in.

Oh sad young man,
I think I need you.
For reasons I don't know
I pledge myself to Winter season
So it's perfectly on course
But in the end it has to snow.

If I could make you stay
Convince you you'd be lost
If we were torn apart
If it remained unclear
Between the two of us
Which one would be the one
To break the others heart."

I have the Elephants...Teeth Sinking Into Heart album playing for a whole week now.

(p/s my white sandals from Japan for only 4 dollars!)