0530

I have a problem. I sit and type for 30 minutes and I delete the chunk of words/everything into a blank blank blank for fear people will judge me from what I do or say or write but I'm being a hypocrite anyway. I am still here after half an hour. I am sleepy. I am tired. I cannot think. I think if I stay awake I might do something impulsive and hurt someone. I'm sorry. Hurt me or you and him or her and I don't want that to happen. But somewhere underneath normal logic, I know I don't want to curb to usual semantics and just do something on intuition just because it feels right.

What do you think?

I slept at 0530 today because we partied till dawn came and the club needed to chase us out. Wow. Do you believe it? Party girls at heart.

To be honest, I have been writing aimlessly a lot this week but not here of course, because you don't see anything here. Due to aforementioned problem, I never quite have much to say here then. Existence is irrelevant, do you really want to know what goes on in my life?

Anyway I have more time to read because I have to read about a million books for Lit and English next year. It's going to be so much fun because we are all going to sit in a circle and discuss literature in a prim and proper yet relaxed manner in that incandescent room. Or so we are told.

Do you believe me?