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yknow the funny thing is that i was exactly like you when i was seventeen (as though i have ever left that age) i used dreamy words like i was skilled, like i could glide over ice so easily but when you go to an ice rink all you see is slush and grey dirt - which is pretty much the same as snow but then if a story has two sides, so does snow: the nice, pristine side and the horrible wet side. and like you, i used to spend months thinking about the importance of boarding gates and what few expectations compared to a handful of disappointments. (this has never changed) i used to think i knew all about the obsession of sadness but i don't, which in comparison - was a truly arrogant thing. so now: what is so great about that type of understanding? surely i'd be content in moving to things like affection and the total opposite of what used to be what i thought was the definition of raison d'être

i never finish my sentences