trompe-l'œil/delicate

This is hard to even begin with, difficult to start describing in every possible way..... what am i supposed to say when i haven't actually done this in so long? i cannot remember, the same way you are forgetting me..... what is this perfect absurdity supposed to mean? and

is it really enough to make me stay? how are you convinced that one day i won't just walk away again like i did? if one day, i disappear silently, quietly, gently, softly, then

the only thing you can do is watch. these are the things i can tell in secret. if i was a better daughter, better person, if

only i was a BETTER FRIEND then maybe i wouldn't be rivaled with this unbearable sadness, but the

thing is, i can't. and

you know i can't but you don't do anything about it. you let me walk away in anger and when that happens, you won't be able to

see me anymore.